Break my heart for what breaks Yours

One of my favorite lines from a worship song lies in Hillsong’s Hosanna, and reads “Break my heart for what breaks Yours.”  It’s a line that I’ve spent much time thinking about ever since I’ve first heard it.  It’s about asking God to break our heart to see the pain of His people, the rest of the body of Christ, our brothers and sisters.  And sitting here much later from the time that I first heard this line, I feel broken hearted for God’s people.  Let me explain…

            As I said before, I was a camp counselor this summer.  I readied myself for long days with little rest and tough chats with campers.  Looking back, I had no idea what was in store for me.  Having 4 weeks of cabin camps with late middle school/high school age campers, I had some amazing, yet heartbreaking, conversations.  I began to see a glimpse into the pain that many of God’s children deal with daily.  At times, it was really tough.  I remember crying to a friend one weekend saying I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders from just hearing about so much pain and confusion.  I had to constantly remind myself that it wasn’t about me and that God is greater than any and all of our pain and problems.  Little did I know this was just the beginning of the process of God breaking my heart for what is breaking His.

            Right now, I’m studying in Rwanda- a land rich in beauty, but a land plagued by pain.  As I’m sure many of you are aware, in 1994 Rwanda went through a devastating genocide.   Millions of people died, and many watched as their families died in front of them.  Through our peace building class, we had the opportunity to visit 3 different memorials, and it was one of the toughest things to see.  It’s hard to walk through the streets of Kigali where we live knowing that this happened on this very soil 18 years ago.  It’s heartbreaking to look at everyone over the age of 18 and know that they had to have been affected in some way by the genocide.  It’s something that everyone in our group has been wrestling with, and wresting God with.  And out of it, I have such a broken heart for the pain of the people here.

            Rwanda is also a place of great poverty and hunger.  Here at our house, we have a bible study focused around poverty in our world, and in Rwanda, and with it we have small groups.  This past week, the reading talked about spiritual disciplines and what you can learn from them, such as fasting, watching, living in solitude, living simply, etc.  My group decided we would spend the week fasting from lunch and spending that time praying and talking together, in order to begin to try to understand more deeply hunger in this world.  As I’m sure you can guess, God used this opportunity and my vulnerability to break my heart for those who go hungry.  It was hard to get a real view of hunger, because we knew when our next meal would be coming, but I still had my eyes opened to so much.  For example, the meaning of the words “hunger” or “starvation.”  When I was skipping lunch my stomach was growling and I wanted to say I was hungry, but I really thought about that word.  How often in my life have I been waiting for dinner after lunch and said, “I’m so hungry!” or “I’m starving!”?  When it’s been 6 hours since your last meal, you’re not hungry.  We expect food, and that’s why we get “hungry”, and some people have no idea when their next meal is coming.  I also learned about how much God can fill us when we’re hungry for Him.  There’s a deep hunger that resides in all of us, and it’s something that only God can fill.  We need to search for Him, and He will provide.  Yet, some people don’t know Him, and don’t know His power, which should break our hearts.  So I felt so much for people who are spiritually or physically hungry, and also was able to see just how blessed we are, and that we don’t deserve it even in the least. 

            Pain is hard, but God is good.  If we’re not open to learning about and feeling the pain of God’s people, our brothers and sisters, we are spiritually dead.  You don’t need to come to Rwanda to learn about hunger and pain, although it’s sure helping me.  Just be awake and aware to what God wants to teach, and be hungry for His power and might.  And don’t be afraid for Him to break your heart for what is constantly breaking His.